Choosing Your Own Memorial
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Nobody likes to think about death in any form, especially their own death or that of loved ones, so it’s natural for people to avoid the topic.

When someone does pass, the burden of their funeral and everything that goes with it is typically left for the family of the deceased to plan and sort out.

Choosing a memorial to honour a loved one can be challenging, so imagine how relieved your family would be if they discover that before your passing, you had already taken care of your own memorial.

Planning things in advance and choosing your own memorial can provide you with peace of mind while easing the burden that your family will have to face upon your passing – both emotionally and financially.

Plenty of Things to Consider When Choosing a Memorial

Choosing your own memorial won’t be without its own difficulties.

You will have to consider things that are tough for many people to ponder, though you and your family will be able to take comfort from the fact it will be the exact memorial you chose, in line with your personal taste and all for your very own reasons.

From the design of the memorial right down to the chosen stone material and inscribed epitaph.

When choosing the memorial, you can discuss your options with your memorial stonemason of choice.

During those discussions you will have to consider the location you want to be buried, the amount of money you’d like to spend on the memorial, the legacy you want to leave behind, and the type of memorials that most resonate with you.

It can also be of great benefit to include your loved ones in these types of discussions as well, if at all possible, though we appreciate it can be a difficult conversation for some family members to participate in.

All in all, these considerations will help you and your memorial mason narrow down the search to the memorials that may be the best fit for you.

Below you can find some important questions we believe you should ask yourself when choosing your own memorial.

Two old people having a pleasant conversation about memorials while smiling

Will it be a Personal or Family Memorial?

There are memorial options available for individuals as well as couples or even families.

Many people decide they would like to be reunited with loved ones by being buried together in the same burial plot.

If this is the case, you may want to invite your family into the discussion so that you can consider memorials that has adequate space for additional engravings for when you are eventually reunited.

Memorial examples that cater for more than one person include double heart headstones, or large book memorials and scripts with plenty of space.

Meanwhile, other people prefer to be buried alone or to have their own personal memorial.

Where Will Your Memorial be Located?

If you’re unsure as to where you would like the memorial to be located, such as a specific cemetery where family and friends can physically visit, then you really need to give this some thought and come to a decision before choosing your memorial.

This is because the location may determine which type of memorials you can choose from.

For example, some cemeteries only allow a specific type of memorial, or have rules and regulations with regards to memorial size, colour, material, engravings etc.

Regardless of whether you opt for a traditional burial or a cremation, you will have to decide and arrange where you would like your remains laid to rest if you would like a suitable memorial to be present with you.

What Would You Like Your Memorial to Say?

Aside from choosing the type of memorial and its design, you may also want to think about the words you’d like depicted.

Your loved ones will read these words each time they visit your memorial, so they will be a large part of how they remember you – which makes these words incredibly meaningful for not just you, but many other people, too.

You could choose a favourite quote or a sentiment that resonates with you, share an inside joke, include a few lines that expresses how you lived your life, or even choose to accompany the text with a photograph or fine-etched design.

Whatever words you select, they will act as a reminder for those who love and miss you and will help to evoke memories of you each time they visit.

An engraved inscription on an old weathered headstone in a cemetery

Do You Have a Memorial Budget?

All memorials come with a price tag, and the price from one memorial to the next can be significantly different due to a range of variables.

Speaking with your chosen memorial masons about prices and budgets will help you better understand what you can expect to receive at your price point.

Simply changing the type of stone that you choose for your memorial can make a big difference to the price.

You could purchase a memorial in advance, or alternatively, you could set money aside in your will to pay for the memorial after your passing so that your loved ones don’t have to source the funds.

If you do decide to set money aside, keep in mind that over time the price of memorials will likely increase – as is typically the case with anything!

Who Will be in Charge of Fulfilling Your Wishes?

Taking the smart steps of planning ahead and choosing your own memorial takes away much of the burden placed on family members, but someone will still need to be in charge of making sure your memorial arrangements are honoured and fulfilled.

You can name the person you would like to entrust to fulfil your wishes in a letter of instruction or as part of a will.

Leaving clear and detailed instructions with regards to your arrangements and wishes will make the entire process so much easier for those who are in charge of ensuring they are carried out.

Mum sat outside with her daughter as the have a conversation while holding each others hand

If you’d like help and guidance through the process of choosing your own memorial, don’t hesitate to reach out to our friendly and knowledgeable team of memorial advisors here at Thornhill Memorials in Cardiff. You can contact us by calling 02920 689595, e-mailing or by using our simple online booking system or contact form.


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